“Sit and be still
until in the time
of no rain you hear
beneath the dry wind’s
commotion in the trees
the sound of flowing
water among the rocks,
a stream unheard before,
and you are where
breathing is prayer.” – Wendell Berry
Today I am grateful for the life I have, just as it is now, finally feeling like it is truly my own. I realized not long ago how much of it I’d spent living for other people, thinking about their needs, trying to create inside and outside of myself what I thought would make them happy.
For many years it was my father’s expectations I worried over, and tried to present to him the picture of me he wanted to see. Then later on, relationships with boyfriends, a husband, and then boyfriends again took over my thoughts, consumed much of my energy, leaving little for me to give to my creative efforts.
Now I feel that energy being returned to me, and I think mostly that’s happened because I have come back to, or found again, the things in life that truly make me happy, soothe my soul, and I’ve made a conscious choice to live my life within their embrace. It is a choice, and some things are lost while other things are found.
It is, for me, simply a matter of choosing who I truly want to be, and of listening to the voice of spirit that lives within me and without.