” To be rooted in life, to learn, to desire, to feel, to think, to act. This is what I want. And nothing less. That is what I must try for.” – Katherine Mansfield

Katherine Mansfield was a New Zealand-born author and a friend of one of my favorite writers, Virginia Woolf. When you read about her, she seems to have led quite a chaotic life and wrote many short stories and poems before she died at 34 of tuberculosis. I think this quote by her echoes clearly what I feel and want and hope for in my own life.

But when tragedy strikes in the world like it has so often lately, I feel like I don’t do enough of the acting part. Whatever charity I may give to, silent prayers I make, or tears I shed for other people do not make me feel like I did all I could sometimes to make any difference. I’m not sure what the answer is, either, to help me do more or feel any better about it.

For now, all I can do is remind myself of what’s important, valuable, meaningful in life. Of what’s still good, even when everything and everyone else appears to be trying to tell me it’s bad, and that I should be very, very afraid. That is one thing I do not want, to be afraid of life. No matter what, I don’t, cannot, believe that is the answer. That might mean I was still alive, but I would not be truly living.